February 20, 1993, we were both just 23 years old.   What were we thinking getting married so young?   Well, we were in love!  We met in college through a mutual friend and knew we were going to be together forever.   Was it love at first sight…hell no!  But it developed into the kind of love that stayed up late talking and laughing until the sun came up.  It still is on some occasions.  Not as much as we like because a) we have two boys b) we have to work in the morning c) we are old 🙂  So what are the secrets to our happy marriage?

1. Communication:  Talk to your spouse about something other than work, money, kids, and the relationship.  This is very important and know we all forget to communicate with each other.   When the open communication is gone, the walls go up.  Once the walls go up, it’s hard to break them down.   Surprise your spouse tomorrow with a 10-minute talk without the kids around.   Ask how they are doing.

2.  Let go of the past, learn to forgive:  Letting go of the past is key to a happy marriage.   Why waste energy and time trying to change something that has already happened.   Focus on the now, not the then!

3.  Affection:   Men crave affection more than women.  Surprise!!  Men look for affection that is non sexual and want to feel special and wanted.   Women, however, don’t crave this as much because we get this feeling from our girl friends.   Make sure to take the time to make your husband feel special.   Take the time to text him or call him at work just to say hi and I love you.   My husband and I now do this on a daily basis.   Seems stupid but it’s special every time.

4.  A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over:  Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

5. Laugh and laugh a lot: Make the time for alone time in this crazy world and just laugh with each other.  Watch a funny movie together.   Talk about something silly but just remember to laugh!

6.  Marry your best friend 🙂

Advertisements